I wonder how many times the heart can be laid bare and then made undone before it wears a person down so they are no longer who they were. I wonder how many times a person can be in love and be told that they are too good before they give in to their base urges, desperate to prove that they were never too good.

Most of all I wonder how many times I can rebuild my heart with unsteady hands before I do something critically wrong in the process.

fuckyeahpotions-master:

ratherdielaughing:

I mean srsly how often do you see a snail drink water?

oh my goodness this is actually the cutest thing

oh my gosh it’s adorable!

Yo there’s an adorable snail drinking water on your dash

Reblog that shit

this is weirdly hypnotic

shiny

For a long time, while reading Naruto, I have been universally against the “bad guys” because they are fighting for a just reason using wildly inappropriate means. They desire a world without conflict and are using conflict as a means of achieving that end, which is the very definition of hypocrisy. What’s more, the world the “bad guys” seek to create forces the world to acknowledge all truths about others and prevents even the principle of a secret or a lie, while giving one man absolute power.

I’m not saying that I think that I think the bad guys are right in their means, but by god their ends sound appealing. An end to all conflict and complete and total understanding of everyone else? I haven’t heard of something much more enticing. It even makes me ask, would it be worth it to use hypocritical methods to achieve such a wonderful end result? I mean, sure, there are problems with a single person having so much power, but for the average person it wouldn’t really matter because they wouldn’t even really care. They would know the truth of everyone around them, and they would have no desire for conflict.

I desire this sort of cessation of conflict. I desire for my temper to end. I desire for my fights with friends, family, and my girlfriend to end. I desire for complete and total understanding, but lack the methods to achieve it. I do not envy the means used in Naruto (or Code Geass for that matter) that are used by the villains to create a world without lies or conflict, but their end goal goes beyond admirable.

I honestly think that if I had to choose a side, I would choose the side of Tobi, or Emperor Charles vi Britannia, and fight for a world without conflict, a world that COULDN’T have conflict. I know that it would be hypocritical, but I think that the final result would be worth the loss of my personal soul, for the gain that so many other people would have.

I only wish that such a thing were actually possible.

Sometimes I get angry and have no source to vent that anger into. Lacking a way to vent that anger means that I either explode at someone I care about (which is incredibly bad) or it lasts long enough the anger dies away but what’s left over becomes stress (which is the ONLY thing that could even *possibly* be worse).

I only wish that in situations like this I could somehow be removed from the real world and placed in some fantasy world in which I could vent that anger and not hurt anyone. A world in which magic was real and I had all of it and there was no living thing to hurt so that I could just let the world burn without lashing out at anyone.

I’ve known for a long time that I have a violent temper, and controlling that temper has been a very important part of my life for the past 6-7 years or so. But it gets tiring, having anger and wanting to express it and being terrified of what happens if I do. I know that I’ve hurt people, some of them very badly because I lost control of my temper, and sometimes holding it in is all I can do. 

Holding that anger in is enough for other people, but it is never enough for me. Because while someone else got me mad, no one else helps me through that anger.

I FINISHED MY GODS DAMNED BOOK AND IT TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE BUT IT IS DONE AND NOW I JUST HAVE TO TYPE IT UP AND DO A FIRST EDIT AND THEN I CAN START TRYING TO GET IT PUBLISHED BUT NONE OF THIS SECOND WAVE OF STUFF IS GONNA TAKE AS LONG AS WRITING IT. FUCK YES I SUCCEEDED.

How is “yin” a singular principle made to be plural (“yins”)? That makes no motherfucking sense. It’d be like talking about freedom (the overriding principle, not individual aspects of it) and having it be okay to talk about freedoms. The idea is utterly ridiculous.

Every now and then I forget how marvelous my girlfriend is. And then, through some reminder or another, I remember how blessed I am. So, here’s to my smart, attractive, kind, and very loving girlfriend. I love you, A.